Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Help

Ladies I need your help. I'm really struggling lately. Sunday marked 10 months and 2weeks for Kenzie and 10 months for Pat and Abby. While that didn't set me back as much as I thought. I find myself overwhelmed by their approaching birthdays. Less than 2 months away. Has it really been that long? I've been writing my story in the hopes of purging some of this increasing sorrow. I miss then so much.
Its become more and more apparent that everyone around me feels like we should be over it by now. The constant questions? Are you pregnant? Are you trying? Do they think a new baby will make everything better. That we will have another child and forget about our triplets. Never! How do I make them understand that we will never be over this. That just because I've gotten better at not crying in public. Doesn't mean my heart's not in a thousand pieces everyday. We are not trying to replace our babies. We want Riley to have a sibling close in age and if that is going to happen well we have to try again (not looking promising on that front either).
I want to celebrate their birthdays. But here is were I need help. I don't know what to do. In a perfect world Shawn Riley and I would have a cake for each of them on their actual birthdays. And all of our family and friends would join us for a balloon release on the Saturday between their birthdays. But I don't know if I'm strong enough to drag out the celebrations over 3 weeks. Plus I don't think my family and friends would understand the balloon release. Shawn says to invite everyone and if they don't come to just forget them. But I can't do that. Every person that no showed would break my heart. But my babies deserve to be celebrated. And each on their special day. Sometimes I really wish they didn't have birthdays 2 weeks apart. So what would you do? Also any tips on how to put together an invitation that won't sound morbid or depressing. And for any of you that have done a balloon release. What did you do? What would you do differently? Any tips or thoughts are greatly appreciated. Thanks.

3 comments:

  1. Hello love. I am sorry you are struggling. I do not know what you can do, but there is another Momma who lost her trips on separate days, Rachel, you are following her blog. She has a support website with suggestions also, triplet butterfly wings. Please go visit it and see what she has done - she is wonderful and Im sure she would help with any questions you may have. Sending lots of hugs xoxoxo Nan

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  2. Hi Steph, Nan mentioned Rachel above and she has a link to a company who does butterflies for a release. I think about what I will do on my girls' birthday (even though is is far away.) I think I will invite only those who are very close to us and do the butterfly release. I also am thinking of sending an e-mail to all my friens/family and ask them to donate to March of Dimes in memory of Sophia & Ellie if they want to do something in their memory. That is as far as I have gotten. I am sure whatever you do will be a great honor to your babies.

    As for the invitation, I think just saying you are doing this to honor the lives of your precious ones would be very appropriate. Do what feels right to you and try not to worry about how others will react. This is for you and your family.

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  3. I really want to do something too, especially since we didn't have a funeral/memorial for Ella, but at the same time I'm kind of ticked at most of my family and friends and don't really want them around me. I've seen a company online that will send you the butterflies free of charge for you to use at your event. Just google free butterflies for release. If you don't find it, let me know. I can try to find the blog where I read about it. Maybe you can do the event in between the two dates.

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