I haven't been around much. I was really doing okay until Tuesday. A "friend" of mine had her second child a beautiful healthy baby boy and I fell apart. I will admit that I've been struggling with their pregnancy form the get go. Which is such a change from how I've been handling other pregnancies around me. I understand a few of the reasons I've been over sensitive.
1. They know I'm infertile and yet they complain about getting pregnant on the first try. If your not ready don't try.
2. She was due on Pat and Abby's birthday. It is such a huge relief that he doesn't share a birthday with my triplets.
3. They have avoided Shawn and I like the plague. We've tried to spend time with them tried to talk with them. Case in point we invited them to spend the afternoon with us let our daughters play together. Visit watch a movie eat some pizza. They invited another couple without our knowledge. People we don't even know and spent the whole time visiting with this other couple like we weren't even there.
4. I still drug myself to her baby shower. Where she turned her nose up at my gift (gift certificate for hand and foot impressions) sorry I still can't pick out cute little boy outfits. At least this time she didn't ignore me.
I'm trying so desperately to save our friendship. I can't just cut her out of my life. Both of our families are taking on leadership roles in our church. She's not worth leaving the church we love and I don't see her going anywhere anytime soon. So I have to salvage this relationship. I'm sure my attitude will improve with time and I really do love the little guy and his parents they are just clueless to the unintentional pain they cause. I will calm down and I'm sure they will be forgiven by this time next week. Its just so raw right now. I just have no idea on how to educate them so they can understand when and how they have hurt us. They didn't hurt me by getting pregnant I wish them nothing but the best. I want them to have all the beautiful healthy children they want. It was all in their behavior towards us, and I'm sure they thought they were protecting us. Every time I tried to ask her how the pregnancy was going she would change the subject. I brought it up. If I don't want to know I wont ask! Okay that's enough venting. Thanks for reading. I will share about the balloon release tomorrow on Pat and Abby's day.
Dear Doctor,
5 years ago
Oh, Steph. It is so hard to watch the world go on around us. Especially when it involves others bringing their new babies into the world. I'm so sorry that your friend doesn't realize that this is difficult for you and acknowledge your feelings. I have a handful of friends who are due to have babies any minute now, too. As you've probably read on my blog, I haven't seen them at all since I lost Ella, March 15th. No visits, no baby showers... Just phone calls. You are a much better person than I for maintaining the relationship with your friend. I hope she comes around and realizes how hard this is for you and your husband. Love to you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for what you are going through. I don't understand why they would act like that when you have made an effort to talk to them.
ReplyDeleteDid they think you were contagious! When I was going through a divorce my sister hardly ever talked to me like she would catch the divorce bug. ((HUGS)) I will pray for God to give you direction in this relationship.